Will He Save Me?

If I cry out and wake you, ignore me
I just can’t bare the nightmares
They haunt me every night
They never go away

I try not to fall asleep every night
I don’t want to see the hell
That comes to crash my dreams
Will it ever go away?

I lay there, sobbing, calling for someone
Can anyone save me from nightmares?
Will there be a Godsend, to save me from this agony?
Can’t He hear me cry, does He care at all?
Can He feel my teardrops run down my face?
Can He taste the salt as they reach my mouth?
Can He save me? Can He overcome my demons?

Will He do it? Will He save me?

Don't Let Go

When you’re lost
And you can’t find your way
Know that the stars and the moon
Are there to guide you
Their light was made for you
He knew you’d need it
Because of the pathway long and narrow
He intended for us to tread
Even through the dark of night

Don’t let go of the memories
Let them linger in your mind
Don’t release them to the darkness
Or you’ll never get them back

If you’re lost
He’ll help you find your way
Through the dark of night
He’ll light your path
The stars and moon will shine
As bright as day
He’ll take your hand
And guide you through
‘Cause He knows
You can’t make it on your own

Masquerade

Who can know? Who can see,
What hides behind those masks?
I'll never know, who you are,
In this masquerade.

Is it too much, to ask your name?
Or would you hide that as well?
Alright then, farewell to you,
I do not know your name.

Hello, yes you, may I ask your name?
No? Must everyone keep it a secret?
Very well, I can see your games,
You think it best to hide,
So I'll leave you alone, to play this masquerade.

Now why I came, I do not know,
I cannot hide behind this mask for long,
Please, will you tell me, how can you remain a secret?
Have you not, just once, let your mask down?
Have you never said your name?
I must insist, good sir, to know, why you play this game?
It does not look like fun to me,
Excuse me, but I cannot see,
Why you choose this game to play,
Will you leave it a mystery?

Will no one answer me, this one thing?
Fine, but do not expect me to stand by,
I'll not be a part of the masquerade,
Where no one shows their faces,
I do not like to hide.

Now look at me, I'll remove my mask,
For I do not care to hide my face,
My name, though, I will leave a secret,
Since you do not tell me yours.

Farewell, oh masquerade,
Farewell, you faceless people,
I've played this game for far too long,
And I still don't understand it.

Good day to you, oh masquerade,
I won't remember you,
You have no faces,
So good day to you,
Oh people of this masquerade.

Excerpt from my novel . . .

When I woke up there was a strange chill in the air. It's night time. Kaysar's near. We've got to run.
I sat up and turned to the side to slip my boots on. Tiptoeing out the door and closing it behind me, I headed down the hall to find Greyson and Jordan. Knocking on the door of the room they were staying in, I glanced around making sure I was alone.
Greyson opened the door and stared at me as though I was crazy.
“We have to go,” I said. “Kaysar's here.”
Greyson cocked an eyebrow, saying, “He is? You sure?”
“Yes, now where's Jordan?”
Jordan came up behind Greyson, handing one of the bags to me and the other to Greyson. “Right here,” He whispered. “You all ready to go right now?”
I nodded, stepping back a few feet, letting Jordan and Greyson walk out ahead of me.
They looked back at me to make sure I was following and we all headed to the front of the building. Once at the door we headed outside, into the cool crisp air of winter. The bright moonlight shined down, and I was glad to have at least one source of light.
An uneasy feeling set over me as I heard the howls of wolves in the woods, sending an icy chill up my back. I shivered as the owls hooted, trying to get my mind off of Kaysar and what he might do.
Jordan glanced over at me, a worried look on his face, and I knew that he felt it too. Greyson still looked oblivious, but I knew he would feel it too, hopefully before it was too late.
I jumped at every noise, and I began shaking so hard that I just wanted to will it away, but I couldn't stop.
The city gatekeeper let us out without a word, and in the dark I could tell that his face had turned to a pale white. So we aren't the only ones . . . Kaysar, what are you doing?
Streams of mist began to curl around the trees, and it slowly settled over top as well. Eerie swishing sounds from the trees echoed all around, and the fog started tightening its grip around us.
I shuddered and pulled my cape tighter around me. The frosty wind blew harder as we walked through the forest. The pale streaks of moonlight still shined between the trees and I tried to keep my eyes on them.
A hand gripped my arm, making me jump. It was only Greyson, but now the fear also brimmed his bright grey eyes.
“Kaysar,” He whispered; I nodded. “Where is he Jazz? What's going to happen?”
I could only shrug, trying to stay calm myself. Please don't make this harder on me than it is already Greyson.
He swallowed and released my arm, slinking back a little. We were all scared; Kaysar probably knew that, and I knew he would strike soon. I at least hoped the city was safe. I didn't want more people to die. Please Kaysar . . . don't kill them. They did nothing. It's us you want. We're right here. Come and get us.
A shriek from behind us made me freeze in my tracks. Greyson and Jordan halted too, but not one of us dared to look back.
Screams pounded in my ears. Crackling sounds echoed across the forest. A bright light from behind us cast shadows, and I closed my eyes, knowing what was happening.
“No!” I shouted, I felt like my voice could have been heard across all of Dasslaray. “No Kaysar! It's us you want! Come get us, we're waiting for you! They did nothing!”
I stood there, tears streaming down my face for what seemed like hours. The forest steadily grew quiet again, and when all could be heard was a small crackling and the chirping and howling of animals around us, I turned around to gaze at the city. The buildings were no longer tall, but crumbled and charcoal. A few flames still blazed, but that was all I could see from behind the walls.
Gritting my teeth, I turned to look at Jordan and Greyson.
“It's time,” I said. “We have to make Kaysar see that he can't do this . . . unless we want all of Dasslaray destroyed by that monster.”
Greyson cringed but nodded.
Jordan stepped up beside me and said, “Let's go sis, we can do this.”
I forced a smile, and stepped toward the city. Kaysar couldn’t get the better of me again. He wouldn’t. I had to do this for Greyson, Jordan, and Morgan. They meant the world to me, and even if Cami was dead I still had people I loved. They are worth dying for.
Are you sure, Jazey?
Yeah, I’m sure. Nothing changing my mind now; just watch me. I won’t let Kaysar kill them. He can kill me but not them.
"Kaysar, where are you?" I screamed, throwing back my hood. "It's time for you to stop hiding!" The words sounded strange in my mind because really it had been me that had been hiding—not the other way around.
Greyson and Jordan were already giving me strange looks. Maybe I was crazy, but I was tired of waiting. I had to face Kaysar. I had to face him for Greyson, for Jordan, for Morgan, and even for Cami.
Finally I heard it—the sound of a faint chuckle. Kaysar. Don't prolong this. Now it's me that's waiting, you have your chance. Come and get me.
"Well, well, did you finally come to surrender?" Kaysar's voice came evenly to my ears, and I turned to my left.
“Stop hiding,” I said. “Just get it over with, Kaysar. Where’s Morgan?”
Kaysar chuckled again—it sounded closer this time. “For now he’s fine,” He replied. “Soon you’ll all be dead.”
Pushing all thoughts from my mind, I said, “Just hand him over and I promise we won’t run.”
“What?” Kaysar had the same hint of surprise in his voice.
“Don’t make me repeat myself,” I seethed, grinding my teeth. “I’m already giving you your chance; don’t make me take it back.”

~Black

Song I wrote

Sweet mystic notes whisper in my ear
I cannot take them, or will them away
Why did You put me here? Can't they disappear?
I can't take another day, why won't they leave me alone?

I tried to will it away
Will you leave me alone today?
Why can't You make them leave?

(Chorus)
I can't take it, I'm slipping away
Falling into the darkness
They pull me down
I'm crying, waiting, hoping You'll come around
Save me, now, You always did before

The voices chant my name, my name
They're calling, I want to follow
Won't You chase them away? Can you hear me?
Don't leave me alone, I'm calling, I'm screaming Your name

I tried to will it away
Will you leave me alone today?
Why can't you make them leave?

(Chorus)

You broke my chains before
You called me out of the darkness I'm in
Can you do it again?
I'm screaming Your name!

(Chorus)

(Chorus 2)
I feel you, I hear you now
You've come to rescue me from the darkness
You're saving me
You cradle me in Your loving arms
You carry me home, I'm safe, I'm home

~Black

Simon, by Lifehouse

Catch your breath,
Hit the wall,
Scream out loud,
As you start to crawl
Back in your cage
The only place
Where they will
Leave you alone.
'Cause the weak will
Seek the weaker til they've broken them.
Could you get it back again?
Would it be the same?
Fulfillment to their lack of strength at your expense,
Left you with no defense;
They tore it down.

And I have felt the same as you,
I've felt the same as you,
I've felt the same.

Locked inside
The only place
Where you feel sheltered,
Where you feel safe.
You lost yourself
In your search to find
Something else to hide behind.

The fearful always preyed upon your confidence.
Did they see the consequence,
when they pushed you around?
The arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones,
Breaking them 'til they've become just another crown.


Refuse to feel anything at all,
Refuse to slip,
Refuse to fall.
Can't be weak,
Can't stand still,
You watch your back 'cause no one will.
You don't know why they had to go this far,
Traded your worth for these scars,
For your only company.
And don't believe the lies
That they have told to you. Not one word was true
you're alright, you're alright, you're alright.~Simon, Lifehouse

A short bit of an allegory I wrote . . .

  “You will need a new name for this journey.” Everything told me, smiling. “Dreamer—that is the name I have picked for you. Use that name, because that is what you are now. Also be sure to have at least one companion going up the mountain—there will be five others heading up the mountain today.”
I nodded, and slung my pack over my shoulder. “I’m ready now.”
"Head to the base of the mountain." Everything said. "The other travlers with come along soon.
                                                                   *****
I made it to the base of the mountain in less than a half hour.
    There stood a tall girl; she had full red lips and color in her skin. Her short blonde hair was pulled back into a neat pony tail, and her grey eyes were bright with determination. From the first glance I could tell she was strong, both inside and out. She looked as though nothing could take her down--not even Fear himself.
"I am Tenacity." She replied, her voice was strong and steady. "You're going to climb that?"
I nodded.
"Me too." She said, pulling her short blonde hair back into a ponytail. "Do you want to come with me?"
"N-no." I stuttered. "I'm fine."
"Suit yourself." She said, heading up the mountain path.
                                                                      *****
An hour later another girl appeared. She had dusky red hair, fine green eyes, and a grin played on her bright red lips. Her skin was light but it contained a deep blush. She was slender, her dark eye lashes fluttered, and she walked high and mighty.
"Hey!" She called to me. "I'm climbing this mountain, are you?"
"Yeah." I said, not nearly as enthusiastic.
"I'm Resolute by the way-- you wanna come with me?" Her voice sounded light, but yet strong somehow.
"No." I replied. "I'm good."
She shrugged, and continued on her way.
                                                                *****
It was only a few minutes before the next on came along. She was about my height, but she had long angel blonde hair with purple and blue highlights. Her blue eyes were dark but smiling, and there was certain brightness about her face that is hard to describe.
"Hey!" She exclaimed, waving and coming over to sit by me. "What's your name?"
"Dreamer."
"I'm Lucky." She said, shooting me a genuine smile. "I'm gonna try to climb that mountain." She continued on, gazing up at the large mountain. "Are you? And if ya are, do ya wanna come with me?"
"Yes I am, but no thanks. I'm gonna wait here a while longer." I stated.
"Um, okay." She said, standing up. "It was nice talkin' to ya!"
                                                                *****
The next one took a couple hours to arrive, but there she was. Her head held high, and her soft blue eyes fastened on the mountain. Her brown hair fell neatly around her beautiful face. She walked as though she had no Fear at all.
"Hey! What's your name?" This time it was me who called out.
She glanced over at me for the first time and replied, "Fearless. You?" "Dreamer." I said. "You going up that mountain?"
"Of course." She answered, continuing on her way.
I sighed. She certainly didn't want me to come with her, why was she the only one that didn't ask me?
                                                           *****
I would have to take the next one. Dread  had said there were only five.
Curly dark brown hair, blue eyes, a musical laugh. There was the last one of the five. She was gorgeous—like all the others—she had full lips, light smooth skin, and a slender build.
Her voice was like music when she turned to me and said, "Hiya! What's your name?"
"Dreamer. What's yours?"
"Blithe." She smiled at me and motioned towards the mountain. "I'm climbing it, are you?"
"Yep." I replied. "Can I come with you?"
"Sure!" She chirped, waiting for me to come up beside her. "Let’s get started! Maybe we can finish climbing before night fall!"
“I doubt that.” I murmured, but I don’t think she heard me.
As we walked the mountain seemed it grow longer, and the path seemed to get steeper. I couldn't quite understand it, but every time I looked Everything seemed different.
Blithe looked over at me, and for the first time I noticed a glint of Fear in her eyes.
"It's getting harder to climb," She said. "And look at those rocks!"
She felt it too, the wind blowing against us, the path getting steeper. The rocks though looked treacherous, and with the wind they would be impossible to climb. No, not impossible, but hard. Very hard.
"There's no way around them either." Blithe murmured. "We had better start climbing."
Nodding I gripped the edge of a rock and pulled myself upward. Placing my foot on another rock, I brought my hand up to find another hold. Blithe followed behind me.
                                                         *****
"We made it to a ledge where we can rest." I said, sticking my hand over the cliff for Blithe to grab.
A shaking hand grabbed mine, and I pulled her up. The sight that met me wasn't what I expected. The girl that I had once seen in Blithe wasn't there anymore. No smile played about her now parched lips that were once so full of color. She looked like every last drop of energy had been drained out of her.
"I can't do this." She whispered, her voice cracking.
I stared hard. Was this really the Blithe I knew? No, it wasn’t. This was not Blithe.
“Who are you?”
“I’m sorry Dreamer.” She murmured. “But I’m not really Blithe, but Misery.”
Stifling a sob, I figured I had to be strong. Even though I was a wreck inside I couldn’t let her see that. She depended on me to much for me to break under the pressure of the mountain.
Swallowing hard, I stepped forward and put my arms around her. “It’s okay.” I said. “I’m here for you, I’m not gonna leave you. Remember Everything? The One who’s gonna help us through all this, the One who promised to always be there."
Blithe nodded. I stroked her limp dark brown hair, and then took her raw hands in mine.
"He'll help us through this, darling." I told her, leaning back to wipe away a drop from her tear stained face. "He's always here, and I'm here."
"Thank you, Dreamer, but I can't help but to think that nobody cares about me. How could anyone? Look at me Dreamer, I'm worthless."
      "No, no," I said softly. "You're strong, you're beautiful, I've seen the real you. You can make it through this, I know you can, Blithe."
"Dreamer, I'm not Blithe . . . . I'm Misery."
"But who gave you that name? Fear did didn't he?"
Blithe nodded.
"Then no. You can't go by that name, because Everything gave you your true name--Blithe." I said. "That's who you are to Everything, and that's all that matters, dear."
Blithe looked over at me, a new spark of light in her eyes. Standing up, she walked over to the rock wall and began climbing once again.
Smiling, I followed. I'm so proud of you Blithe . . .


~Black Rose

Short story thing . . .

A soft moan escapes my lips. I’ve been abandoned again. No one wants me. The words echo in my mind. “No one will ever want you.” I shudder, trying to push the thought of it out of my mind. Being the outcast that I am, I shouldn’t expect anyone to want me, but somehow I feel like there is someone calling me, telling me they want me. This strong sense I cannot shake, and everyday I feel as if someone loves me—someone that I have not yet met.

I roll over, and open my eyes. It’s so dark, I’m frightened, but I will not give in. I can’t let go of the small hope I’m holding onto, not yet. The darkness does not deserve me; I must not fall into its ways.

I must stand up, if I don’t I’ll fall asleep. So forcing myself into a sitting position, I stand up, on two wobbly legs. Stumbling forward, I call out for someone to help me, but there’s no answer. A pang of guilt and fear shoot through me as I realize no one would dare to come here after what I’ve done . . . or would they? Would there be someone daring enough to save me? Could someone ever care enough to want me, an outcast?

“Dreams, foolish and childish . . .” the voice hisses in my ears. It’s so vivid, so real that I think he’s there, but when I turn to look, he’s not. “You’re not worth a penny.”

“Maybe I’m not!” I shout, stamping my foot down on the soft ground. “But one thing is for sure, and that is I will never stop fighting, not until I die.”

Seething in rage, he emerges from the shadows. I stand tall; ready for whatever he will give me. A red whip is in his hand, but I do not cower. I won’t give into him this time.

“Foolish child,” he jeers, curling his whip around my legs. As he yanks back on the end, I fall, but stand back up without hesitation.

The whip lashes out, curling around me. I cry out in pain as it slashes across my back, tearing my shirt and cutting deep into my skin. Gritting my teeth, I straighten, waiting for the next blow. It comes fast, and I nearly fall again. More cuts across my bare arms.

Again and again he strikes, I fall a few more times, but I keep on standing back up. The longing inside me is driving me to stand my ground.

 “He’s out there!” I scream. “He wants me! He loves me!”

“No one loves you, you’re despicable.” The words sting; worse than the whip—worse than the glass driving into my skin, worse than all the physical pain I’ve felt. A part of me wants to believe it—but I can’t give in. Not this time. Not again.

“You’re wrong,” I say, lifting my head up, I take a step forward. “You are wrong!”

Light—oh the blinding light. It bursts from all directions, my captor shrieks, and falls to his knees. I let out a sharp cry, and fall to my knees as well. Despite the sharp pains coursing through me, I manage to struggle forward.

“Father, save me!” I cry out, letting the tears flow, hot and salty down my cheeks. “Please, don’t leave me here!”

That’s when I feel it, His arms around me. I’m being lifted gently off the ground. I’m being carried by Him, carried home . . . where I belong.


~Black Rose

Another year . . .

Do you ever wish you could go back and replay time? Right now, I'm really wishing I could go back to the end of August last year, or the middle of June . . . *sigh* I miss my TWACers. Anyway, I hath a poem today. 'Tis a bit sad, but one of my favorite characters died in something I was watching last night . . . *glares at Lost* so I can't really help posting something sad.

  Crushed
 The last petal, falls from the flower,
 No one hears it, as it floats to the ground,
 No one notices, when they crush the crisp petal,
 Grinding its old beauty to dust

 That petal was the last part of me,
 Now it crushed, like all the rest,
 I could not stay alive, like all the others
 Instead I withered away and died

 I was forgotten, for I was the smallest flower,
 I was the flower hidden by the others,
 I was the flower kept inside myself,
 Never ready to blossom to my full height

 Now I'm just a stem,
 With no gorgeous petals,
 All the other flowers laugh
 Making me retreat farther,
 Farther within myself

 ~Black Rose

A little explanation for my title!

Well, like the title says, I'm gonna give you an explanation for the title. :) Glass Hearts Are Not Stone simply means, breakable hearts are not hard hearts. In different terms, if your heart can be broken, at least you are not indifferent and cold. Weird huh? Well that's how my brain processes things . . . Anyway, welcome to my blog! Read the description and it doesn't really tell you anything, but I'll leave the rest for a surprise. :P ~Black Rose