Your Dreamer

I was hurt.

I was rejected.

I was hated.

I was not beautiful.

No one wanted me.

I wanted to believe someone did.

They told me what I was . . .

Scarred.

Outcast.

Hated.

Ugly.

Alone.

Sorrow.

But You called.

You saved me.

You wanted me.

You loved me.

You called me beautiful.

You wanted to be my closest friend.

You called me Your Dreamer.

You gave Your life for me.

Now I am whole.

You are my Savior.

Silent One

The rain falls, but she seems not to notice,
The cloaked figure lowers her head;
People that pass by either whisper or stare,
None stop, they just hurry by.

Once in a while, someone will catch her gaze,
They can't help but immediately look away;
Those dark brown eyes, always searching,
Always they look for answers, answers they never find.

Her soaked mahogany hair barely touches her shoulders,
Raindrop streak down her face, or are those tears?
While walking by you see her mouth moving,
But not a sound comes forth.

When it's cold enough, her hood is up,
But still she'll watch you, intrigued; 
You've never head a word from her,
Yet you wonder if she has something to say.

Truth is no one knows, tales are all that exist,
There's one that says she was born that way;
Some say she used to speak,
But none listened and she's been mute since.

I guess we'll never know about this girl,
So quiet, wordless, a mystery;
The truth of the Silent One is mute,
Just like she herself. 

Relief

Pain, but not normal;
No, this pain is worse,
So much worse;
It threatens to choke you,
It squeezes you, 
Every time you move it hurts worse.

Thoughts of darkness,
Swirling, griping;
Anger, so much anger,
It courses through you;
You cannot bear it,
For it threatens to take away who you are.

By now you're screaming,
Crying, shouting;
Relief! Relief!
It's all you want,
And when it isn't given to you . . . are you content?

The anger, the pain,
They will be gone;
Not today, maybe not for years;
But relief will find you,
And with it—redemption. 

Bringing Dawn

The thunder sounds across the plain

He's struggling to gain his feet again

Ahead there rises a mountain

He can't turn back now

He wants this night to end

He wants to give in

He cries out for someone to save him

Can anyone help him now?

Footstep after footstep

Fall after fall

He knows he must keep going

In the darkness her only light is the lightning

Each time it strikes nearer than it was

She can't stop from sliding down to where she was before

So close to the edge

She knows if she gives up it will be her end

She can't keep climbing

She can't stop

She must keep going

Crying out to darkness

Will this night ever end?

The sun is fighting to gain it's place

A cloud cracks, a shimmer of light escapes

A rainbow lights up the dark sky

And it's still raining, it's still pouring

The thunder cracks, the lightning strikes

But the sun is bringing the dawn

Even In Victory

I rein in my horse, and turn to follow the others
But wait, what's that?
Over the sound of victory, flowing through my land
I hear the mourning, crying for their loss
A pang of guilt shoots through me
As I realize what I've done
With our gain I've caused many people pain
With a victory, there always comes a loss
With our rejoices, if we listen
We can hear the people crying
As I ride through the lands I have newly gained
All people do is glare and close their doors
For I've taken something away from them
That I fear I cannot replace
Their husbands, their sons, their uncles, their brothers
Now what have I done? These people were innocent. 

Broken Worlds

We've made a mistake or two
Slipped up once or twice
It's forgiveable, right?
Our worlds are far apart,
They can't be broken like this
But slowly we drift away,
Away from the truth

And one by one
Our worlds overlap
It's choking, it's strangling
Everything in us
We struggle, we strive
To make it all right
But everything's wrong now
And we can't go back,
No, not even this once

But wait; there's a remedy
It'll cost us a lot
Is it worth it?
Should we bother
To save these broken worlds?
To do so would cause pain
To do so we must say goodbye 

Crushed

The last petal, falls from the flower,

No one hears it, as it floats to the ground,

No one notices, when they crush the crisp petal,

Grinding its old beauty to dust




That petal was the last part of me,

Now it crushed, like all the rest,

I could not stay alive, like all the others

Instead I withered away and died




I was forgotten, for I was the smallest flower,

I was the flower hidden by the others,

I was the flower kept inside myself,

Never ready to blossom to my full height




Now I'm just a stem,

With no gorgeous petals,

All the other flowers laugh

Making me retreat farther,

Farther within myself

Dark Lullaby

Sweet, mystic, notes echo in my ears
Shadows fill the room, the music fades
Then, I hear it again
Sugar coated notes of darkness
Filling my mind with murky pictures
Come, come, I hear the voices
Chanting in my head, dancing around me
The notes grow shorter, the shadows longer
The song pounds in my head
I want to sleep
To fall asleep to this dark lullaby
My lids grow heavy
My head feels light
Everything begins to fade away

Then, I hear a voice
Calling me, telling me to wake
I cannot fall for this tune
This dark lullaby
I need the light and only then
Will this lullaby be gone
I cry out, I need you now
You hear my voice and come for me
You rescue me from this dark lullaby
You wrap me in Your arms
I’m safe
I’m home 

I Need to Know

Well.

Where are you? I’m waiting . . .

Waiting . . .

Waiting . . .

And this is what I get.

Why, God, why?

It caught me un-expecting.

I swear my guard was high.

But this I couldn’t predict.

I need them to be strong.

But they’re not.

You’re all I have.

You want that don’t You?

You want me to come running back?

Well here I am.

I’m on my knees.

Take me back.

I want Your love.

They can’t save me.

You can.

I still have my doubts.

Fear it haunts me.

Have You left me again?

Of course not.

You've never left me.

But why this?

I can’t take it.

I gave it up for them.

I tried to stay strong too.

This is how I’m repaid?

Very well.

I’m still here.

I haven’t stopped believing.

But when will You answer my question?

I need to know.

I need to know.

I need to know why.

I Apologize

I'm sorry for anything I've done that's hurt you

I'm sorry if you've ever felt that I hate you

I'm sorry, I'm just trying to figure things out

I'm sorry, and all I want is for you to forgive me.

I'm sorry that I never seem to express emotion well

Except for with words written into a story somehow

I swear there's only one thing I really want
And that's to be loved and hated by no one.

I apologize if you're holding something against me

I hate never knowing if I've done something wrong

Please don't hold back if there's someway I've hurt you

I want to know, I want to make it better.

I don't like begging for attention

I'm quite used to being ignored

I'm not all that talkative

And sometimes I'm shy

But I'll try to do better

I just can't change who I am.

And maybe it's not healthy

The way I release my feelings

But at least I'm not a wreck

At least I'm not a drama queen

At least I'm not weak

At least no one sees it

At least I can hide

At least I try

At least I'm still here.

I know what it feels like to be hated

I know what it's like to be ignored

I know how it feels to be hurt

But I've never wanted to hurt anyone

So if I have, please forgive me

I have to say something, so here it is.

Happy Valentine's Day . . .

Valentine's Day. The day of romance . . . or to all the single people "Single Awareness Day." To me it's usually just candy day and some people even like to think of it as just a day to spread the love. So what's the point of Valentine's Day if everyone's so divided over it anyway? Why even bother?

Well, it's a holiday and it's a little to late to go back, but you know we have Mother's Day and Father's Day even though everyone's not a mom or a dad. Something a friend said didn't really apply to me, but made sense . . . "If you're complaining about not having a boyfriend or girlfriend on Valentine's Day, just sit back and think about those who don't have a mother on Mother's Day or a father on Father's Day." We don't all need a special someone for Valentine's Day to be good . . . we don't have to ignore the day either. Now if I say anymore, I'm probably just going to repeat what other people have said, so I'm not.

Good day, and enjoy your candy. -tips none existent hat-

~Black

Greatest Mistake

Sickening sweet scent

A single rose, curtains closed

Silence, except for the splash of a tear

Setting sun, darkness falls

She's still there

He's still gone

All the tears are gone

The emptiness remains

The night fades on




He's torn, he can't go back

He loves her

Just a little too much

The note he left

Was it enough?

Did she understand?

Did she believe him?

She's not there

He left her all alone

Prays she'll be just fine

He can't turn back




Two broken hearts

All with good intentions

He's torn between the choices

Which would hurt her more?

What he thought was best

Was his greatest mistake

Ice Cream Cake vs. Cake and Ice Cream

Alright. Maybe I'm ridiculous but I am writing a post to prove that ice cream cake is the better choice. -nod- Call me crazy . . . but I already know I'm crazy so it won't matter. -cackles-

Anyway.
Reason number 1) Ice cream cake is better tasting. =3 This is obvious. It's chocolate and vanilla ice cream, fudge with chocolatey chunks, annnd whipped topping. It's amazing, right?

Number 2) Less calories. You're only eating ice cream and not cake /and/ ice cream . . . I mean what's up with that anyway?

Number 3) I'm pretty sure I had more reasons, but I can't think of them right now . . . well this is awkward . . . yeah I'm done and going to bed. This was an epic fail, but I still think I proved mah point . . . eheheh. Bai.

To My One True Love,

I'm sorry I walked away,
I never, ever meant to hurt you this way;
If you'll just forgive me, and let me explain,
I promise, I'll try to make it better.

You may wonder why I'm writing this letter,
I told you I was never coming back, and I'm not;
But I feel I have so much to explain,
And yet not quite enough words to make you understand.

You see, I'm nothing, there's so much out there,
Someone who would love you a million times more;
I wish I was better, but I don't understand myself,
And I don't believe I could ever understand you.

I tried so hard to fix my broken heart,
But it's far too late, it's too far gone;
I'd write you all the time, but I can't,
The memories are much too painful.

Go and find someone better, someone who understands,
Someone that loves you more than anything;
I know you won't have trouble, for I'm really nothing special,
There are many girls out there, who are prettier than I.

I don't regret a second I spent with you,
I just regret having too much to lose;
I know if I were here, you'd beg me to stay,
But I can't my love, I'll never change.

Last but not least, I want to say I love you,
It's true, I do, but not nearly as much as I should;
I didn't want it to end like this, but I have no other choice,
Please forgive me, love, I meant to hurt you;
I only want the best for you, so please,
Do not wait for me, I won't be coming back.