I Apologize

I'm sorry for anything I've done that's hurt you

I'm sorry if you've ever felt that I hate you

I'm sorry, I'm just trying to figure things out

I'm sorry, and all I want is for you to forgive me.

I'm sorry that I never seem to express emotion well

Except for with words written into a story somehow

I swear there's only one thing I really want
And that's to be loved and hated by no one.

I apologize if you're holding something against me

I hate never knowing if I've done something wrong

Please don't hold back if there's someway I've hurt you

I want to know, I want to make it better.

I don't like begging for attention

I'm quite used to being ignored

I'm not all that talkative

And sometimes I'm shy

But I'll try to do better

I just can't change who I am.

And maybe it's not healthy

The way I release my feelings

But at least I'm not a wreck

At least I'm not a drama queen

At least I'm not weak

At least no one sees it

At least I can hide

At least I try

At least I'm still here.

I know what it feels like to be hated

I know what it's like to be ignored

I know how it feels to be hurt

But I've never wanted to hurt anyone

So if I have, please forgive me

I have to say something, so here it is.

Happy Valentine's Day . . .

Valentine's Day. The day of romance . . . or to all the single people "Single Awareness Day." To me it's usually just candy day and some people even like to think of it as just a day to spread the love. So what's the point of Valentine's Day if everyone's so divided over it anyway? Why even bother?

Well, it's a holiday and it's a little to late to go back, but you know we have Mother's Day and Father's Day even though everyone's not a mom or a dad. Something a friend said didn't really apply to me, but made sense . . . "If you're complaining about not having a boyfriend or girlfriend on Valentine's Day, just sit back and think about those who don't have a mother on Mother's Day or a father on Father's Day." We don't all need a special someone for Valentine's Day to be good . . . we don't have to ignore the day either. Now if I say anymore, I'm probably just going to repeat what other people have said, so I'm not.

Good day, and enjoy your candy. -tips none existent hat-

~Black

Greatest Mistake

Sickening sweet scent

A single rose, curtains closed

Silence, except for the splash of a tear

Setting sun, darkness falls

She's still there

He's still gone

All the tears are gone

The emptiness remains

The night fades on




He's torn, he can't go back

He loves her

Just a little too much

The note he left

Was it enough?

Did she understand?

Did she believe him?

She's not there

He left her all alone

Prays she'll be just fine

He can't turn back




Two broken hearts

All with good intentions

He's torn between the choices

Which would hurt her more?

What he thought was best

Was his greatest mistake

Ice Cream Cake vs. Cake and Ice Cream

Alright. Maybe I'm ridiculous but I am writing a post to prove that ice cream cake is the better choice. -nod- Call me crazy . . . but I already know I'm crazy so it won't matter. -cackles-

Anyway.
Reason number 1) Ice cream cake is better tasting. =3 This is obvious. It's chocolate and vanilla ice cream, fudge with chocolatey chunks, annnd whipped topping. It's amazing, right?

Number 2) Less calories. You're only eating ice cream and not cake /and/ ice cream . . . I mean what's up with that anyway?

Number 3) I'm pretty sure I had more reasons, but I can't think of them right now . . . well this is awkward . . . yeah I'm done and going to bed. This was an epic fail, but I still think I proved mah point . . . eheheh. Bai.

To My One True Love,

I'm sorry I walked away,
I never, ever meant to hurt you this way;
If you'll just forgive me, and let me explain,
I promise, I'll try to make it better.

You may wonder why I'm writing this letter,
I told you I was never coming back, and I'm not;
But I feel I have so much to explain,
And yet not quite enough words to make you understand.

You see, I'm nothing, there's so much out there,
Someone who would love you a million times more;
I wish I was better, but I don't understand myself,
And I don't believe I could ever understand you.

I tried so hard to fix my broken heart,
But it's far too late, it's too far gone;
I'd write you all the time, but I can't,
The memories are much too painful.

Go and find someone better, someone who understands,
Someone that loves you more than anything;
I know you won't have trouble, for I'm really nothing special,
There are many girls out there, who are prettier than I.

I don't regret a second I spent with you,
I just regret having too much to lose;
I know if I were here, you'd beg me to stay,
But I can't my love, I'll never change.

Last but not least, I want to say I love you,
It's true, I do, but not nearly as much as I should;
I didn't want it to end like this, but I have no other choice,
Please forgive me, love, I meant to hurt you;
I only want the best for you, so please,
Do not wait for me, I won't be coming back.

My Own Worst Enemy

My own worst enemy lives inside me,

It haunts me, it hates me, it never leaves me;

It tells me I'm not good enough, it beats me down,

It draws my blood with razor sharp blades.




My own worst enemy is a sort of poison,

Once I let it in, it began to kill me;

It knows I can't be perfect,

Yet it forces me to try.




My own worst enemy is so much like me,

Yet it always begs to differ;

It screams, it yells, it's always distracting me,

No matter how much I tell it to leave, it's always there;

It cannot live without me.




So who or what is my own worst enemy?

It's not a demon, it's not a unknown force;

My own worst enemy lives inside me;

So now, would you believe me if I told you?

My own worst enemy is myself.

Swirling Hate

It begins how all hate begins, with anger,

It slowly tightens its grip with ice cold fingers;

Many colors, sparks turn to flames,

Hot as fire, cold as steel, anger turns to justified lies.

Lies, hissed in your ears, leaping from your tongue,

You tell them it doesn't matter, you say you'll stop;

No, no, it's already taken hold, you can't just let it go,

It's feeding off you now, it's eating you away.

Choking, groping, searching for answers,

Your plea for help can't be answered;

You've let it sink it's teeth in this far,

There's no turning back, it's gushing, swirling.

Swirling hate, it poisons, it weakens,

It takes until you're left with nothing;

Hurt, betrayed, damaged, bitter, swirling hate,

Now you know it's unrelenting.